Patience is for those that have time to waste…

March 30, 2015 by Dave Dame

Last week I posted pictures for Throwback Thursday (TBT) of when I was a teenager at Woodeden, an Easter Seals Camp. This brought back memories of special people that are no longer with us. Combined with deaths I have had to deal with over the last few years it really hit me hard and got me to reflect on my life. Why do I go through all the struggles...only to come to the same end? My journey on this earth will be quicker than most...this is the life I have...some people believe in a ‘next life’ of where things might be easier or better. I’m not willing to die to find out. I’m not patient because I only have a finite amount of heart beats. I’m not patient because I have a lot of living to do during this time of being alive..

I'm alive for my parents who worked their asses off to ensure that I would have the opportunities to live a life worth living. Who taught me the value of hard work, resilience, and the grit that I would need to keep picking myself up every time I was knocked down.

I'm alive for my passion towards building enterprise agility by harnessing the skills and talents of the people that make up those organizations. Working with the creators of frameworks that has given me a career where it does not seem like work because it's my passion. The people and organizations I've have or had the opportunity to work with to watch them grow and achieve what they did not think was possible. This passion leads to my obsession… Each of which takes a turn in the driver seat.

I'm alive for the experiences: Love, loss, success, failure, anger, frustration, sadness, happiness, first times, routine, pain, and pleasure.

I'm alive for my friends. It does not matter how much time goes by that we still have the connection, the relationship, the closeness to share these things we experience while being alive. All of you mean so much and have given me awesome memories and continue to accompany me on my journey. To pick each other up, to push each other, to support each other, to make sure were not alone on the big stage of life. In your eyes you see me, not what restricts me.

I'm alive for my wife who is the center of my universe. The person that is brave when I no longer want to be. The person that help support my passion and puts up with my stubbornness. The person that I can put my wall down, to just feel. The person that I want to share everything I experience from being alive with. The person that if I had nothing, with her I would still have everything.

Tomorrow is not promised...so I'm impatient and want to live today. I push myself to embrace change, seize opportunities, experience things as fast as I can.

Death won’t take me alive

Can't Stand the word "Can't"

January 28, 2015 by Dave Dame in Motivation, Blog Post

The word "Can't"bothers me. It strikes a nerve with me. When I hear the word "Can't" I interpret that as someone is not going to try. Can't is convenient. Can't is crippling. I hear they're not prepared to go through the struggle and effort. I hear that someone is not willing to pick themselves up when they fall.

My wife and I recently relocated to a new city which meant I had to hire a whole new support staff to help me in the mornings at 5 AM with my personal care (shaving, showering, and dressing). This means I have to trust strangers to whom I have only just met with my life. I have to instruct them to help me get ready in the morning. This puts me in a highly vulnerable situation. One person that I hired (now fired) did not take the time to learn the specifics of my morning routine. There is nothing medical about my morning routine, but it is highly detailed to ensure everything is just right for me to be independent through out the day. This person almost caused me to fall in the shower a number of times. I felt crippled for the first time in a long time. I was frustrated. Angry. I am trying to get ready for my first day at my new job but not sure I will make it out of the bathtub.. Luckily, my wife jumped in to help me get ready so I can be at work at 7:30 AM. When I get dressed, my clothes have to be lined up with such precision to allow me to go to the bathroom independently at work. The margin of failure is only inches. This is a routine that I've continually refined over my life to strive to get more independent to allow me to have a "normal" life. My job of being Dave and managing my needs is a 24/7 job on top of my professional job.

I don’t share this with you to feel sorry for me. I’m simply giving background to why I have no tolerance for the word can’t or cannot accept the excuse that something is too difficult to try. If I did not do anything that was difficult, I would not even get out of bed in the morning.

Let “Can’t” be the start of the story, not the ending. Let “Can’t” drive you, not constrain you. To get something you've never had, you must do something you've never done. You have to change. You have to endure scars to achieve what seems impossible. You have to struggle. You have to be resilient. Anything worth having is worth struggling for. Try. Fail. Try again. Our journey will be made up of falling and picking ourselves up.

These are my scars to endure. Scars serve as a reminder to the past, but it does not tell us about the future. Change is challenging, frustrating, and terrifying. There is no growth without change. The struggle has to be fought, because the journey has to continue.

Week 1 - Crip in The Big City

January 11, 2015 by Dave Dame in Blog Post

My first week in the city has been an awesome life experience.

Monday morning rolled around with Kelly getting me up and ready for work. This was the start of a new chapter for us.

What do you worry about the first day of a new job?

I did not have concerns about my job, rather concerns that the environment would be suitable to my special needs. I know I will rock my job… It is my passion, talent, and I'm not afraid to work my ass off. My biggest concern was whether I could go to the bathroom independently. Using a new bathroom, going through this basic routine in a new environment is about as high risk as you get being a crip. I have a love for dry pants. To prepare for this, I started reducing my fluid intake on Sunday night. I only drank 5 ounces of water between Sunday at 8 PM until I went to the washroom my first time at work. Once I went to the washroom in the new environment for first time… I drank as if I just came back from a month long journey in the desert. These are the type of details I have to worry about when making a job change. Who will help me with my coat? Who will help me getting my water glass refilled?

Thanks to a good friend (my work sister) she made sure that the environment was going to be accommodating as possible. All the specific details that most people have to worry about were taken care of. She put the fear of god into building management to ensure all my accessibility needs were met. With this taken care of… I could focus on the task at hand… Just doing my job.

Empowering Moment

On Wednesday, for the first time in my life, I was able to get to work (6 KM) independently to the office. I have accomplished a lot during my life, but this was truly one of the biggest life events I will cherish. For as long as I can remember I have been a slave to depend on people bring me places. In Toronto, I've experienced of freedom that I did not think was possible.. I'm able to get anywhere in the city (wherever the subway goes) completely on my own. I have trouble navigating the swipe card for my subway pass, but there are always people there to help me swipe the card to get through to the train.People don't think the subway is glamorous...but I feel like a star.

On Thursday, my brother-in-law invited me to attend the Raptors game in his company's executive suite. I was able to travel from work to the ACC completely on my own. Nobody had to pick me up… I can just get there on my own. Although the raptors did not win the game… I was a winner! The winner of independence.

Rebuilding

Moving cities meant that I had to say goodbye to my current support workers and begin hiring a new staff in Toronto. We have had for interviews for people within this week. Our strategy is that we will hire all of them and said the weakest amongst them. Kelly has done an awesome job in training as we onboard them. Hopefully, in the next month, life will return to a new normal.

My wife has been phenomenally supportive from orchestrating our big move in 5 weeks (3 weeks with me out of country for work) and providing me love/support/care during this transition before she resumes her career. I love her with everything I have.

People Don't Always Suck

The common thread in this first week of living in Toronto was the awesomeness of people. The news tends to highlight all of all the horrible and terrible things that people are and do. We seldom hear about how awesome people can be. This week was awesome because of all the support from my wife, family, former colleagues, and new colleagues.

New colleagues quickly began helping me with my coat in the morning in the evening. These new colleagues were checking in to make sure everything was okay.

Change is hard for everyone. I have to be more concerned about basic needs than most. However, it doesn't mean that I should not embrace change and move forward. I can let the fear of change relating to my basic needs hold me back...or I can have the courage to trust that I can be resilient within the community of awesome people to move forward.

I read somewhere that a community can be measured by how they treat their members. So far, in the first week, I am in an awesome community.

Stay tuned, as the journey continues.

Looking in the Mirror...

December 29, 2014 by Dave Dame in Motivation

During this time of year it is normal to reflect back on the past. I set some pretty ambitious goals for 2014. I'm happy that I've been able to achieve most of the goals that I set.

This year has been a lot of ups and downs. I have been able to accomplish things that did not seem possible and I lost a very special person in my life. I am starting a new chapter in moving to Toronto and taking on an exciting new opportunity. However, to do this my wife and I are moving away from a number of loved ones we have got close to over the last 9 years.

Looking back on everything I realize how lucky I am to have such an amazing life filled with family, friends, and other people that inspire me to embrace this awfully wonderful thing of life and enjoy it.

I wish I could go back in time and talk to the sixteen-year-old version of myself that would spend countless hours alone in his bedroom scared that he would not find that special woman, not be able to make it in the grown-up world, and to not know what kind of life he would have. As a teenager I would even find myself in tears thinking the above-mentioned is not possible.

I wish I could go back and tell him that he is going to find a woman that will make him better than he could've ever imagined, that completes the holes that were left void, that is the reason why you wake up in the morning and is your best friend & lover (Giggity).

Sharing the moments with special friends

I wish I could go back and tell him that you will meet the special person named Alex. Together you will spend twenty months training to walk further and faster than you ever thought possible. You will do the Terry Fox event that would raise over $30,000 for cancer. This event would allow you to get closer to your dreams with each step. This event would take place in front of all the special people in your life to share in this moment with you. This event will help to define you and the next chapter of your life. You will always remember the love you felt when you cross the finish line. You will remember the lives you touched with your walk. You will remember people`s own stories they shared. You will remember the letters from students touching your heart. You will remember.

I wish I could go back and tell him that he will have a career in which he works with incredibly bright and talented people in solving complex problems. This career would allow him to help organizations exceed expectations. This career would be his passion. This career would give him the life his parents always dreamed of. People will see you as a thought leader.

I wish I could go back and tell him to make sure you cherishes those moments with special loved ones. These moments will not be forever. You need to love and appreciate them for everything . You need to be happy that you got to share time with them, even if they have to leave this world early. You need to appreciate family, friends, and loved ones each time you see them as if it was the last time ever. To remember to keep the journey continuing even when there journey on earth is no longer.

I wish I could go back and tell him that despite the ups and downs… You are in for a hell of a ride!

/TheJourneyContinues